This year is a continual slug of getting knocked back or down and getting back up again. I sometimes feel like a phoenix, rising from one set of ashes to another, but weirdly I feel stronger each time.
Despite what is going wrong right now there are also many moments of strength I am taking from a variety of situations.
I’ve learned what it’s like to have your ego completely smashed to pieces, to have very little self-worth and hope left. I’ve seen what it’s like to slog your guts out, try constantly to improve or make all the right moves and still have doors slammed in your face.
I’ve read positive affirmations, attempted Buddhist chanting, thought about positive energies, being nice to people, looking at those much worst off than myself, crying, locking myself away, feeling shame, feeling hopeful and still pretty much coming back to the same…
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